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I Am A Super Hero (Or Maybe I Am Not)

Welcome to the March 2014 Carnival of Natural Parenting: Everyday Superheroes

This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama. This month our participants have talked about the remarkable people and characteristics that have touched their lives. Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.

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Those who know me just shake their heads. They do. Because they don’t know how else to respond. You see, I am a Superhero complete with Super Powers.

Pfft….

I Am Not A Super Hero: HybridRastaMama.comI do not at all see myself as a superhero. And I do not have super powers. I’m just a mom with a myriad of crazy health issues. A mom who is trying to contribute financially. A mom who helps anyone who needs it. A mom who is beyond efficient. A mom who keeps on going even when she has been kicked down to the ground by life.

So why do people shake their heads? Because honestly, I can take on a lot. Bring it life – I can carry it on my shoulders. Whatever is thrown at me, I embrace with an intensity that would rival Hurricane waters. I somehow manage to give 110% of myself to everything I do. And I will drop anything and everything to help someone in need. No matter what it does to my routine and daily deadlines.

I am a work horse. I do it all. I don’t, or won’t, say no. Need help? Sure! Call Jennifer!

I tackle many online projects at one time. I create content for my blog, write books, organize Summits, and organize eProduct bundles. And I do it all “after hours.”

I’m nuts.

I’m no Superhero.

Superheroes know when they have been pushed to their limit. Superheroes know when to walk away. Superheroes know when their plates are not just full but spilling all over the newly vacuumed floor. Superheroes know that it is ok to be selfish and demand some downtime.

So yeah – I am definitely not a superhero.

In the past 6 weeks since I had the most bizarre surgery on earth, I have learned a lot about myself. I have had nothing but time, time to reflect on just how much I do. How much I think no one else CAN do. At least not as well as I can do it.

I faced some enormous challenges at the beginning of my recovery from surgery – challenges that I met head on with that intensity I am known for. I kicked those challenges square in the ass and kept on plunging forward with healing…and life.

But then, somewhere along the way, I got tired. The letdown of all those years of moving at the speed of light, juggling 10 balls at once while I stood on my head and pooped glitter…those years crumbled on top of me. And I realized that if I really wanted to be a hero, I needed to let go. A lot.

A hero is someone who lives a rich life. A life in which she or he embraces the moments – lives in the present – focuses on today. A life that you will look back on and smile, knowing you lived it to the fullest, helping others do the same along the way. A life that you enjoyed. Not a life that you raced through, trying and succeeding, in doing it all.

Guess what? Doing it all does not create a happy life. It does not create a superhero. It creates a frazzled, burnt out shell of a human. And who wants to be that?

Not me. And therefore, it is time to adjust my version of a superhero so that I can truly be one.

***

Carnival of Natural Parenting -- Hobo Mama and Code Name: MamaVisit Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama to find out how you can participate in the next Carnival of Natural Parenting!

Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:

(This list will be updated by afternoon March 11 with all the carnival links.)

 
  • I Am A Super Hero — Jennifer at Hybrid Rasta Mama shares how she learned the hard way exactly what it means to be a real super hero and not a burned out shell of a human simply pretending to be one.
  • Quiet Heroics — Heroism doesn’t have to be big and bold. Read how Jorje of Momma Jorje is a quiet hero…and how you probably are, too.
  • Not a Bang, but a Whisper {Carnival of Natural Parenting} — Meegs at A New Day talks about the different types of “superheroes,” ones that come in with a bang and ones that come in with a whisper.
  • Silent courage of motherhood in rural Cambodia — Nathalie at Kampuchea Crossings marvels at how rural Khmer women defy the odds in childbirth.
  • Super PappyMother Goutte‘s little boy met a superhero in checked slippers and Volkswagen Polo, his grand dad: Super Pappy!
  • An Open Letter to Batman — Kati at The Best Things challenges Batman to hold up his end of the deal, in the name of social justice, civic duty, and a little boy named Babe-O!
  • My Village — Kellie at Our Mindful Life reflects on the people who helped her to become her best self.
  • 5 Lessons My Kids Taught Me — Children are amazing teachers, when we only stop to listen. They remind us to choose happiness, to delight in the small things, to let go and forgive. There is so much we can learn from our children. Justine at The Lone Home Ranger shares a few of the lessons she’s learned.
  • Could you use some superpowers? — Tat at Mum in search shares a fun activity to help you connect with your own superpowers.
  • Like Fire Engines — Tam at tinsenpup tells the story of the day she saw a surprising superhero lurking in the guise of her not entirely mild-mannered four-year-old daughter.
  • Everyday Superheroes — Erica at ChildOrganics shares her list of Walker Warburg Syndrome Superheroes that have touched her life forever.
  • My Superhero of the Week: Nancy GallagherTribal Mama muses about the transcendent things her superhero mom has done.
  • My choice in natural birth does not make me a super hero — Bianca, The Pierogie Mama, discusses her thoughts on her experience with the perception of natural birth and putting those mamas on a different level. Does giving birth naturally give cause for an extra pat on the back? No! All mamas, no matter how they birth, are superheroes.
  • Someone’s Hero — Sometimes being a parent means pretending to be a grown-up, but it always means you are someone’s hero. Read Mandy’s lament at Living Peacefully with Children.
  • Growing into a Super Hero — Casey at Joyful Courage shares how owning our behavior and choosing to be a better parent, a better person, is an act of courage.
  • A Math Superhero — Kerry at City Kids Homeschooling writes that her 7-year-old daughter’s superhero is an MIT-trained mathematician.
  • It Starts With Truffula Trees And Tulips — Luschka of Diary of a First Child takes a hard look at the realities of her relationship with her mother, and through this post goes on a journey of discovery that ends in a surprise realisation for her.
  • We Don’t Need an Excuse — Maria Kang (aka “Hot Mom”) asks women #WhatsYourExcuse for not being in shape? Dionna at Code Name: Mama asks Hot Mom what her excuse is for not devoting her life to charity work, or fostering dozens of stray dogs each year, or advocating for the needs of others. Better yet, Code Name: Mama says, how about we realize that every woman has her own priorities. Focus on your own, and stop judging others for theirs.
  • It’s not heroic when you’re living it — Lauren at Hobo Mama knows from the inside that homeschooling does not take a hero, and that much of what we choose as parents is simply what works best for us.
  • Superheroes, princesses and preschoolers — Garry at Postilius discusses why his preschool-age son is not ready for comic book superheroes.
  • The Loving Parents of Children with Special Needs – Everyday Superheroes — Deb Chitwood at Living Montessori Now shares posts with resources for parents of children with special needs along with posts to help others know how to support parents of children with special needs.
  • Everyday Empathy — Mommy Giraffe of Little Green Giraffe shares why her secret superpower is everyday empathy.
  • The Simplicity of Being a Superhero — Ana at Panda & Ananaso explains what superheroes mean to her wise three-year-old.
  • My Father, The Hero — Fathers are pretty amazing; find out why Christine at The Erudite Mom thinks hers is the bees knees.

Photo Credit: http://www.deviantart.com/art/Wonder-Woman-298967679

Comments

  1. I think you’re so right in your definition of a superhero. Being a hero is doing what challenges us, doing what is not the ‘easy’ choice for us. I like how you highlight the contradictions in our everyday lives, how doing it all can ask more of us emotionally and physically but stepping away from it all can be the biggest challenge yet!

  2. I’m glad you’re adjusting your expectations of yourself, because you are so right, I superhero knows when to hold back as much as they know when to push forward. Good luck!

  3. Sure we have an idea of what a superhero is, what the definition of success is. And we strive to be that. But the biggest heroes are the everyday folks who make the world a better place for their families, and do so despite the odds and the sacrifices and challenges of letting go, slowing down, making the moments matter by just *being*.

  4. Lauren @ Hobo Mama says:

    “While I stood on my head and pooped glitter” — you’ve officially won favorite line in the carnival this month! I agree with your post hard. Sometimes being a superhero/supermom means learning when to stop being so super and figure out balance and grace and accepting help and all that good stuff.

  5. Dionna @ Code Name: Mama says:

    As another doer-of-everything, this post really, really hit home. Just last night I was telling Tom that I wanted us to start putting away one weekend a month for just us. To go on mini-road trips, to have Wii-fests, to arm ourselves with cameras and take pictures all over the city – no social media, no email, no other demands on us. Just our family enjoying itself. Because after my heart attack scare of last month (it wasn’t a heart attack, it was a bone infection of my sternum), I don’t want to be staring down the barrel of death and have a mountain of answered emails and minor projects accomplished, but not have spent quality time with my family.
    So yes – you are a superhero, I admire all you do, but stop it, damn it! :)

  6. You are my superhero because I’m one of those people that you’ve helped. You made such a huge difference in Spencer’s life, and therefore my own. I try to pay it forward, with the information if not the actual gift.

    But yes. That doing it all because no one else could possibly do it – not as well as I can. Man, that is a tough one, especially right here in my home. Sometimes I feel like I am responsible for EVERYTHING, like I’m a den mother here or something… but then I sometimes realize I created this role for myself.

    It is so hard to stop… to let go… of control.

  7. I like your perspective on superheroes a lot. I made a similar realisation a few years ago when a health crisis put me in hospital. Some pretty huge changes demanded to be made. It’s been really hard. Sometimes people really struggle to cope with hearing you say, ‘No’. I’m glad you’re working to find your balance too. :)

  8. I love your blog on being a superhero. It just made me smile, touching my heart because it was real. I am not perfect, I do get tired, and I do try to ignore that and conquer the world…pretty much every day. But I DO need to let go, to give some things up and allow myself to enjoy my life, too. This was awesome!

Trackbacks

  1. […] I Am A Super Hero — Jennifer at Hybrid Rasta Mama shares how she learned the hard way exactly what it means to be a real super hero and not a burned out shell of a human simply pretending to be one. […]

  2. […] I Am A Super Hero — Jennifer at Hybrid Rasta Mama shares how she learned the hard way exactly what it means to be a real super hero and not a burned out shell of a human simply pretending to be one. […]

  3. […] I Am A Super Hero — Jennifer at Hybrid Rasta Mama shares how she learned the hard way exactly what it means to be a real super hero and not a burned out shell of a human simply pretending to be one. […]

  4. 5 Lessons My Kids Taught Me | Natural Parents Network says:

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  5. […] I Am A Super Hero — Jennifer at Hybrid Rasta Mama shares how she learned the hard way exactly what it means to be a real super hero and not a burned out shell of a human simply pretending to be one. […]

  6. […] I Am A Super Hero — Jennifer at Hybrid Rasta Mama shares how she learned the hard way exactly what it means to be a real super hero and not a burned out shell of a human simply pretending to be one. […]

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  10. […] I Am A Super Hero — Jennifer at Hybrid Rasta Mama shares how she learned the hard way exactly what it means to be a real super hero and not a burned out shell of a human simply pretending to be one. […]

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